musings

My songs are an amalgamation of the various emotions, insecurities and faith in this race we call human. Dealing with the foibles and self esteem issues that are prevalent, at least in my experience, in day to day life.

I'm not saying that there is an answer. I'm saying that we all search for the elusive intellect that dwells inside us, hidden, just out of focus, intact, yet worn and torn in the many stress points of each of our short and bittersweet time animated. I'm in love with all of this and want so much to share a common belief in the very possibility of hope. Call me renaissance, call me romantic, call me cynic, call me fool, call me user, call me used, call me blasphemer, call me alienated. But, do not mask the mistake by calling me hopeless. I believe. In you. In me. In life. In death. In the possibilities that that come from the simplest of sources, ourselves. Let's face it, no one is alone in this. There is something else besides what we accept as perception.

Some have a name for it. Some have "a name of that which cannot

be said"* for it. Some write songs using that very name. Some see it all around us. Some feel it all around us.

Some remember it from a dream they once had. Some hear it all about them. Some smell or taste things and have contact with it. Some say it's family. Some say it's science. Some say it's preternatural. Some say it's from without. Some say it's from within.

I say that all things are true and only false when we stop accepting them. Disappointment, frustration, love, loss of love, embitterment, sophistication, pride, loneliness, solitude. It would seem that at least "1 2 3 4 5 senses are working overtime..."*.

references:

* : Robert Fripp/King Crimson

* : The Bible

* : Andrew Partridge/XTC

* : Paul Simon/Art Garfunkel

* : William Shakespeare

* : Blair King

I do not portend, nor, pretend to know anything. I'm am a slave to my own muse and it seems to have a firm grip on irony, reality and comedy. All I do know is that I want very much for all of us to connect. I am not an artist, rock star, personality or celebrity. I'm just a person. And I choose to believe that I never will subscribe to that fantasy. I choose not to lose myself in the fabrication of mass illusion by a windfall, nor, by default.

Now, a lot of people are going to ask questions in my life. Hell, they already have and do! My only answer to my questions (and I believe yours as well) is to look within yourself. I firmly have faith that we were born with all the "knowledge" that we need to co-exist, not only together as a species, but with all things universally. Everything. The whole enchilada basically. After poignant, oh-dark-thirty discussions and rants with various individuals, both under the influence and not, it occured to me, after reflection, that we are all not so different. That we are not all a soul unto themselves. Near as I can tell, dreams are the most personal and individual experience, yet, we all dream. We are

not "a rock..."* We are children in the light and in the dark all at once.

A tsunami, if you will, with cause and effect, but, somehow not like the wave. More like riding it without understanding it, or even wanting to. As far as my information goes, all of our "advancements" and "discoveries" were mistakes. An unforseen variable outside the box that we, through industry and avarice, have been able harness for some sort of convenience. I recently went through an illness that 50 years ago would have most assuredly caused me to "shuffle off this mortal coil."* Yet, I live. Because of the very mistakes that led to the studies of the human anatomy and it's workings. So, that's good, right? I think so. I just think that maybe, just maybe, we have the power inherently to heal ourselves from within. Because the power that animates also re-animates and regenerates. It's there, just beyond my grasp so when I am lucky and open enough to grab it, it's "some grip that always slips."* Hence my quandry. Hence my music. Hence my lyrics. I hope this sheds some light on the mystery of my frail use of language as a means to communicate. I only wish for all us, for all whom we know and we do not know, loved ones and enemies, the loved and the unloved.

Joy. Happiness. Discovery. Faith. Hope. Trust. Truth. Harmony. Balance. Health. But, most of all... UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE and ACCEPTANCE.

Maybe vegans exhibit a greater respect for life than the rest of us would like to believe that we have. Just a thought ...

In memory of Evelyn Douglas, a wonderful vocalist, mother, wife, daughter, friend

and to my main man Ratso Rizzo, my best friend for 19 years (see below).

I still miss you Rats & E.

This page is dedicated to Ratso Rizzo:

Quote: "I got my mind on my cat food and my cat food on my mind."